Many Are Called. Few Succeed. Manchester United: Beyond the Promised Land

Prison Riot

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:22 PM,
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Scarlett Loves 'Her Girls'

STUNNING actress Scarlett Johansson has revealed her saucy pet name for her boobs . . . "My Girls". The Lost In Translation star boasted of 'a good sex life', adding: "I like my body and face and I love my breasts — 'My Girls'."Scarlett, 21, said in an interview she uses anti-ageing cream and "never wants to look like an old bag".

Well, i love 'her girls' too!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:13 PM,
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Viva La Volley

Awesome footie game! Try it out ya'll! All ive managed is 4286 points! Viva La Volley.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:04 PM,
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The Legend that is, Roy Keane!

There has never been or will there ever be anyone like him. You can't buy that, not for 3.75m or 45m. You can't categorise, quantify, ennumerate or statisticise a phenomenon, a force of nature like Keano. And you can't keep him down. So fuck you Haaland, fuck Vieira, fuck Gerrard, fuck Effenburg and Makalele and Davids and Ballack and Gattuso and the rest of you lot who think you'd ever come close.

Along with Sir Alex there is one man responsible for the glory years at Manchester United more than any other and that man is Roy Bloody Keane, I say and no other so fuck you Ronaldinho, fuck Harry Kewell, fuck Shearer, fuck Viera, fuck Australia, fuck England. Roy Keane, Leader of Men, Scourge of the Scousers, perennial pain in the eyes of the gooners.

For everyone who's ever stood in our way, 'his' way, told us we're not the best and have no right to be, told us we're arrogant for believing we can be, told us we're just like everyone else when we're not, cos there's ONLY ONE MAN UNITED, there's ONLY ONE ROY KEANE, and he's The fucking Man.

He was everything, goal scorer, ball winner, playmaker, there was nothing beyond him and therefore nothing beyond the team, the captain above all others.

He was a true leader. As with many of history's greatest leaders he led with courage that could hardly be measured against anyone in his field.

Keane, along with Ferguson, is the very epitome of what Manchester is and should be about. His passion and commitment for a club he had no boyhood/personal allegiance too is staggering, his love and will to win at all times unquestionable. His bust up with Vieira before the Highbury game summed the man up, at 33 years old he acted like he was still in his prime, confronting the big French oaf when one of his team mates was under attack, then went on to perform brilliantly and contribute significantly in a great game of Football.

That was the essence of Keane. He is one of the few players left who you can look at and say, yeh, despite the wages, despite the sponsorship deals, this player has truly earnt them, and that he is truly what a Footballer should be.

Keane has put more into United than any player I can remember. He could have gone elsewhere, made more money, but he knew in his heart where he would fit in, and chose the history and heritage of United over the money and glamour at Blackburn. He even decided to forsake his place in the biggest game of a players life, just to make sure the team got there.

A man of staunch principle, whos loyalty is without question, giving 100% and more to the cause, including risking never walking again, just to be able to put on the shirt. A shirt he felt only the best should wear. If he thought is should be said, he would say it, he didnt give a fuck who it offended, he said it. Keane, is a United legend, and deserves so much more than this. If theres one person who deserves a place at United for life, then you would have to look no further than Roy Keane.....

Legend, Good Luck. Manchester United Football Club and Old Trafford will never be the same without you.

Tackled By The Red Devil at 5:35 PM,
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The Choice Is Yours

Tackled By The Red Devil at 11:58 PM,
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Roy Keane Bids Farewell: The Testimonial

Oh Keano's f*cking magic
He wears a magic hat
And when he saw Old Trafford
He said "I fancy that"
He didn't sign for Arsenal
Or Blackburn cos they're sh*te
He signed for Man United
Cos they're f*cking dynamite

Oh, Keanos f*cking magic, he wears a magic hat
And when he saw McCarthy, he said 'you f*cking tw*t'
You only played for Millwall, and City coz your sh*te,
I play for man united and im f*cking dynamite!

KEANO
THERES ONLY 1 KEANO
THERES ONLY 1 KEANO
KEANO!!
THERES ONLY 1 KEANO
THERES ONLY 1 KEANO
KEANO!!

Well for all the memories, Thank's Roy!

For those who missed the game, well check out the highlights below! Classic game!

Giggs Chance

Ronaldo run and skill

Saha header

Keane at half-time (in the celtic strip)

Keane comes out for second half (man utd strip)

Scholes and Solksjaer come out for second half

Keane tackle

Ronaldo shot

Another Ronaldo shot

Keane goes down in the box

Ronaldo skills

Ronaldo substitution

Scholes terrible miss

Full Match Torrent

Tackled By The Red Devil at 11:10 PM,
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United Sign Twin Brothers

Identical twins Rafael and Fabio Pereira da Silva, members of the Under-15 Brazilian national soccer team and Rio de Janiero's Fluminense club, pose after a training session a in the municipality of Xerem, some 50 km from Rio, 08 May 2006. Rafael and Fabio, who play as right and left halves respectively and are viewed as the possible successors of Brazilian captain Cafu (Milan) and Roberto Carlos (Real Madrid) in the adult national team, are to join UK's Manchester United in 2008 when they turn 18.

Well come 2008, we'd be having triplets then aiye? How alike does Richardson look to em twins?

Tackled By The Red Devil at 7:10 PM,
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Bull 1:0 Cowgirl

Well we all know who won that bout! Yee Ha Cowgirl! I bet the onlookers had a blast!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 7:02 PM,
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Jessica Simpsons Saggy Tits

Well its official now, her body's falling apart. Its more or less certain when your nipples start pointing to the ground! I suppose Nick sure must have seen this coming!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:39 PM,
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Tattoos On Lower Back

Large tattoos on the lower back and buttocks can lead to problems for women during childbirth, as the marking could prevent doctors from applying a local anaesthetic, reported the German medical journal Arzte Zeitung.

Tattoos are frequently positioned on the lower back, precisely where doctors inject the painkiller along the spine. Injecting through tattooed skin carries the risk of transmitting allergens or poisonous pigments into deep tissues, leading to irritation.

The study was based on work by a researcher at the University of California in San Diego. Doctors have been encouraged to use a different, more complicated method of providing anaesthesia to women with such tattoos.

Still, they're sexy as hell!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 6:28 PM,
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Bush Vs Blair

Well all fairy tales do end with a happy ending and this ones no different! Check this out! Funny shyt!!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 4:13 PM,
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Sex Toy Or Baby Toy?

Try the quiz out for yourselves here! Its pretty tough, i only managed 10/15. Darn!

Tackled By The Red Devil at 4:05 PM,
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The Guiness Book Of Offensive Records

MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.

LONGEST PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.

MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.

ZITS
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch.

WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'C#nt Pump'.

GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.

LONGEST TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American who, produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.

MOST PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds

Tackled By The Red Devil at 3:52 PM,
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